Deliver your daily bread with the “And On the Third Day, He Landed It” Premium Organic Cotton Tote. Printed on sturdy, natural canvas, this divine carryall features Jesus mid-kickflip, robe flowing, board airborne, paired with the playful taglines “Hallowed Be Thy Steezy Backside 180” and “Hallelujah, The Messiah Shreds.” Perfect for carrying your blessings, your belongings and a fair bit of blasphemy. Holy enough to turn heads and sinful enough to raise eyebrows.

Fit & Sizing

This Spacious and durable (with reinforced stitching) tote bag is perfect for holding everyday essentials or has the capacity to become your go-to bag when you need a hand holding your shopping. 62 cm long Dual-straps means the bag sits just above hip height for most, sitting loose and relaxed on your shoulder without sagging and swinging in motion. Generous capacity without bulk — throw it over your shoulder and go.

See our Size Guide below for dimensions and weight limits.

Size Guide

Made for the Planet

Crafted from 100% certified organic cotton 3/1 twill (272 g/m²). No synthetics, no shortcuts.
This tote uses organic farming methods — natural fertilisers, biological pest control, and zero genetic modification.
Sourced from Econscious, a PETA-Approved Vegan brand dedicated to organic and recycled materials.
Printed on demand to avoid overproduction.

Certifications & Legal Info

• GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard) certified

• OCS (Organic Content Standard) certified

• OEKO-TEX Standard 100 certified

• PETA-Approved Vegan

• Compliant with EU GPSR and REACH regulations

Why We Print on Demand

Each tote is made only after you order it. That means fewer wasted products, lower emissions, and zero bulk storage.
We choose print partners and suppliers who guarantee fair wages, safe workplaces, and audited ethical practices. No sweatshops, ever.

Care Instructions

Keep your tote in top shape:

• Wash similar colours together, cold (max 30 °C) and inside out
  

• Use mild detergent, no bleach, and avoid fabric softeners

• Do not tumble dry — air dry flat or hang

• Iron inside out if needed

• Do not dry clean

• Tearaway care label may fade after washing (but the ethics won’t).

Compliance & Traceability

• Fabric and manufacturing: India

• Contains: 0% recycled polyester & 0% hazardous substances

• Age restrictions: Adults

• EU Warranty: 2 years
  All Econscious facilities audited for fair labour and environmental standards.

Brand & Shipping Info

We’re a small Bordeaux-based crew making wearable statements (and now carryable ones). Behind every design is a hand-drawn idea, a real human (hi Freya 👋), and a reason. This isn’t fast fashion — it’s slow-ish, purpose-first, and packed with personality.

Each tote is printed to order, so delivery takes a little longer — fewer emissions, less waste, more meaning.

Questions or compliance requests?
AURATRADE SAS
200 rue de la Croix Nivert, 75015 Paris
📧 orders@nearlyoffensive.com