And On the Third Day, He Landed It

Organic Tote Bag

4.8
Rated 4.8 out of 5 stars
12 Reviews
Regular price €35.00 Sale price€29.11 Save €5.89
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Satisfied AF Guarantee i
If we mess it up - print, size, quality, whatever - we’ll fix it fast and free. You keep the original.

Changed your mind? No stress. You’ve got 30 days to send it back for store credit.

Why you'll love it

Generous Capacity icon Generous Capacity (19L)
Reinforced Double-Stitched Seams icon Reinforced Double-Stitched Seams
Durable AF icon Durable AF
Earth-Kind Construction icon Earth-Kind Construction i
Made from certified organic cotton that cuts out pesticides, chemicals, and unnecessary impact.
Peta-Approved Vegan icon Peta-Approved Vegan
EKO-TEX® Certified icon OEKO-TEX® Certified Fabric i
Fabric independently tested against 1,000+ harmful chemicals for skin-safe, irritation-free comfort.

Deliver your daily bread with the “And On the Third Day, He Landed It” Premium Organic Cotton Tote. Printed on sturdy, natural canvas, this divine carryall features Jesus mid-kickflip, robe flowing, board airborne, paired with the playful taglines “Hallowed Be Thy Steezy Backside 180” and “Hallelujah, The Messiah Shreds.” Perfect for carrying your blessings, your belongings and a fair bit of blasphemy. Holy enough to turn heads and sinful enough to raise eyebrows.


Fit & Sizing

This Spacious and durable (with reinforced stitching) tote bag is perfect for holding everyday essentials or has the capacity to become your go-to bag when you need a hand holding your shopping. 62 cm long Dual-straps means the bag sits just above hip height for most, sitting loose and relaxed on your shoulder without sagging and swinging in motion. Generous capacity without bulk - throw it over your shoulder and go.

See our Size Guide below for dimensions and weight limits.


Size Guide

CM IN
Measurement Dimensions (cm)
Width 40.6
Height 35.6
Depth 12.7
Strap length 62.2
Weight limit 13.6 kg
Measurement Dimensions (in)
Width 16″
Height 14½″
Depth 5″
Strap length 24.5″
Weight limit 30 lbs

(Measurements may vary slightly due to manual production.)


Made for the Planet

Crafted from 100% certified organic cotton 3/1 twill (272 g/m²). No synthetics, no shortcuts.
This tote uses organic farming methods - natural fertilisers, biological pest control, and zero genetic modification.
Sourced from Econscious, a PETA-Approved Vegan brand dedicated to organic and recycled materials.
Printed on demand to avoid overproduction.


Certifications & Legal Info


Why We Print on Demand

Each tote is made only after you order it. That means fewer wasted products, lower emissions, and zero bulk storage.
We choose print partners and suppliers who guarantee fair wages, safe workplaces, and audited ethical practices. No sweatshops, ever.


Care Instructions

Keep your tote in top shape:

  • Wash similar colours together, cold (max 30 °C) and inside out

  • Use mild detergent, no bleach, and avoid fabric softeners

  • Do not tumble dry - air dry flat or hang

  • Iron inside out if needed

  • Do not dry clean

  • Tearaway care label may fade after washing (but the ethics won’t).


Composition and traceability:

  • 0% recycled polyester 🚫

  • 0 % hazardous substances 🚫

  • 100% organic ring-spun cotton 🤤

  • Fabric and manufacturing: India


Compliance & Traceability

  • Fabric and manufacturing: India

  • Contains: 0% recycled polyester & 0% hazardous substances

  • Age restrictions: Adults

  • EU Warranty: 2 years
    All Econscious facilities audited for fair labour and environmental standards.


Brand & Shipping Info

Orders are processed and shipped within 2-5 business days.
Shipping times will update based on your location but as a rough guide:

Region Estimated Delivery Time (Production + Delivery)
Europe 5–13 business days
North America 7–15 business days
Rest of World 10–20 business days

More info 👉 Shipping & Delivery

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Size Guide

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Upgrade your Tee, level up your Look

100% cotton, 100% Soft as hell 🪶

These tees are the real deal – No synthetic fibres. Just 100% Organic Cotton and boy can you feel the difference.

Quality Midweight Feeling ✨

Feels substantial, yet light enough for that streetwear ease. Easy, unrestricted movement while staying comfortable through every season.

Keeps its shape 🔒

Complete with Ribbed crew neck and stitched side seams, your new tee keeps its shape wash after wash

Look Better 😈

Slightly tapered at the chest and looser around the midriff for an effortless wear that flatters all figures.

Not all Tote bags are created equal

This Organic Tote bag

The Average Tote bag

Durable AF
Reinforced double stitching
Holds its shape
Soft to the touch
Weight Capacity
Up to 30lbs!
10 - 20lbs
Long Lasting
Gets better with age
Sick original designs
Ethical AF
Great value

Ethical AF

Planet-Friendly. Full transparency.

Our core range is Organic cotton. That means 91% less water, 46% less emissions and it's PETA-certified Vegan too.
All our blanks are made in certified factories with fair pay and safe conditions. No sweatshops, no mystery sourcing.

Printed on Demand, not produced on mass.

🌎 No overproduction (the biggest fashion waste problem)
🌎 Lower emissions, because nothing ships until it’s needed
🌎 No landfill guilt, because unsold stock simply doesn’t exist
It takes a couple extra days to get to you but it’s a heck of a lot better for the planet 🌼

FAQs

Our tees are intentionally oversized - about two sizes up from traditional high-street sizing.

For a true oversized fit: stick to your usual size.

For a relaxed (not oversized) fit: size down one.

Still unsure? Check our measurement guide for the exact fit.

No. Our blanks are pre-shrunk and constructed with side seams, so the fit stays true and doesn’t twist, warp, or shrink out of shape.

No. We use high-quality DTG printing on a smooth organic surface, giving crisp detail and long-lasting colour when cared for properly.

We partner with fulfilment centres across the UK, EU, US, Canada, Australia, Brazil, and Mexico. Your order ships from the location closest to you, meaning faster delivery times and fewer carbon miles.

Everything we ship comes preloaded with our Satisfied AF Guarantee. We’re not happy if you’re not happy. If you’ve got any quibbles, worries or hang-ups (With your order – we can’t help with your ex), Just email us at WeGotYou@nearlyoffensive.com and a real-life Human (remember those?) will reply and find a solution. Full details here 👉 Satisfied AF Guarantee.

We offer a simple, stress-free return process. Every order comes with our Satisfied AF Guarantee.

Faulty or incorrect items are replaced fast and free. Changed your mind? No worries - returns can be sent back within 30 days for store credit.

Full details 👉 Returns & Exchanges page.

Sure is – it’s locked down with all the usual security tech you’d expect. You’re good.

4.8
Rated 4.8 out of 5 stars
Based on 12 reviews
Total 5 star reviews: 11 Total 4 star reviews: 0 Total 3 star reviews: 0 Total 2 star reviews: 1 Total 1 star reviews: 0
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12 reviews
  • J
    Ji-an
    Verified Reviewer
    Reviewing
    Suck on These Nuts
    I recommend this product
    Rated 5 out of 5 stars
    2 weeks ago
    Kick-***

    Love this tote. The actual bag itself is easily the most sturdy I've ever had. It's soft and strong at the same time. Love the print - "Voted #1 By your Mom" and now by me as well 😝

  • SP
    Sasha P.
    Verified Reviewer
    Reviewing
    Too Blessed to Be Dressed
    I recommend this product
    Rated 5 out of 5 stars
    4 days ago
    Matching tote

    AHH - love having a tote that matches my top! Cute!

  • AR
    Amal R.
    Verified Reviewer
    Reviewing
    Nice Girls Finish First
    I recommend this product
    Rated 5 out of 5 stars
    4 days ago
    Happy buyer

    No issues

  • YJ
    Yu J. P.
    Verified Reviewer
    Reviewing
    The Sun is High and So am I
    I recommend this product
    Rated 5 out of 5 stars
    4 days ago
    Great tote bag

    Very well made. Durable and yet soft. It also looks easy to clean but I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it and find out later

  • RP
    Ravi P.
    Verified Reviewer
    Reviewing
    Nice Girls Finish First
    I recommend this product
    Rated 5 out of 5 stars
    4 days ago
    5 stars

    Nothing to say

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